Escape : Killing Me and Am Dying

♪♫♪ I had to escape

The city was sticky and cruel

Maybe I should have called you first

But I was dying to get to you

I was dreaming while I drove

The long straight road ahead, yeah ♫♪♫

♫♪♫ Could taste your sweet kisses

Your arms open wide

This fever for you

Is just burning me up inside

I drove all night to get to you

Is that alright? ♪♫♪

**This song made famous by Cyndi Lauper in 1989. Was originally intended for Roy Orbison which was aired in 1992. Covered by Celine Dion in 2003.

It has been 8 months since I leave UK. Gosh! It is sound to me that I am only leave for the past 1 week back then. Everything is still fresh up playing inside my fucking mind. Wow! I do really miss UK. I miss UK a lot. I can’t describe it verbally. This new world to me; It is killing me softly. And of course, I am dying here.  Somebody please save me!

Just like the years before, papa and mama will buy time for us to gather as a family. How busy they are, they will be there when I need them most; up front and center.  I will never forget when I was given detention for a valid reason; I was bullying a faggot in my school with my friends of 5. Just thought that papa wouldn’t come to see the principal. But, I was wrong. He was absolutely there, out of nowhere.  I just only see a broken heart through his eyes. What have I done? End up, I was grounded for a month and my money was taken away.

It is happened right on last year Christmas Eve. Everything was well-planned and I was the last one to know everything. “I have a huge announcement to make. We will move to Malaysia.” I can’t manage to fight back when it comes from papa. His decision is rounded even you don’t satisfy any of it. “We are leaving end of this year.” What can I do? Just giving a shocking mad face. “Can you please let me has my winter here for the last time.” *seriously, I was like begging for nothing. “Nay, I promise you that Malaysia will be a nice place for you. And you’re gonna fall in love with the hometown just in second.” Well, that is how the beginning of my new life in Malaysia.

I am leaving everything behind; my fucking-valuable-best-of-the-best-friends in the world, my freaking-awesome-favourite-Londoner’s delicacies and my bitter-sweet-sugar-honey enemy yet my crush. I miss them so much. People said, what is the reason the smartphone is made of? Yeah, I know that. But it is really not the same one as you hang out with them. The atmosphere is different. There is something I couldn’t reach to tell everyone. But, God damn it, can I just meet them now? *am crying out loud here.

Joyce, Feng, Alice, Matt, Joshua, James, George; you wouldn’t believe me what I being up here. I am stuck in the middle of somewhere I wasn’t sure enough which is could be right and could be wrong. Everything I have to hold back. You guys knew me right? I am absolutely can write well in Malay, but for speak out? I am no differ from you guys. Hahaha... I am totally suck. I made a fucking-hilarious thing when I was so down here. Guess what? I bought an English-Malay dictionary and read it like it was nothing compare to my other encyclopedias. You guys don’t wanna see how serious my face turned on when I was focusing to read it.

I tried the very best of me to adapt everything here; I was forced to eat rice every single day *the very 1st week here, I pulled out everything I ate. Euwww. Shower with damn cold water *freak me out. I screamed when it touched my skin. Everyone panicked and rushed to me. And I was like step outside just like that. Naked. Hahaha... Every time I went down to town, when I asked or even ordered anything, they all here will look at me like I am an alien from outer space. *oh! come on guys. You never see a guy, indeed a Malay guy that couldn’t speak well in Malay? The worst come ever, I was mistaken as ‘anak ikan’ by my father’s staffs. *are you fucking kidding me? My papa is my sugar-daddy?

Joyce; I miss your crazy-evil-laughing. When you laughed, everything is silent. A devil from hell is awake. No one could deny that. With your dark-curly hair, just like the Medusa, and when your eyes stared straight to your boyfriend’s eyes. He will become a statue. Hahaha... I don’t know what he is afraid of? Oh wait, I miss your handmade muffins. Yummy! You just know that I am not into too sweet things, you will made a special just for me. *tears dripped

Feng; You are a dumb-dummy-Asian-chick forever! Hahaha... Even, we are not really long enough to stick together, but I would say that, you are really a friend worth to be with. I can’t believe the day that you are 100% totally into Joyce’s word. She did asked you to asked ‘the man’ and not ‘the man’. I can’t ever breathe normally laughing to you when that man said. I am gay. Hahaha... Feng, I never told you this, but I really like you when you are twirling your hair with the pen. It is kinda kinky.

Alice; Nothing else, I just miss your bitchiness. Almost 90% I have shared my personal life with you. I don’t know why I picked you up. But, you always there when I am alone. Do you still remember what happened back then at riverside, London Eye? If only I am the one that not looking for you, you are gonna end up in lockup. Are you crazy bitch? Wanna suck a police’s c**k?

Matt; Your Indian-English make me drown dude! But hey, I love curry from your mother. Now I miss the delicacies. The one I have here is not the same as your mother. The spices, the saltiness, the smell is so different. When your parents have to move to UK, and you went to my school, all you did is always be alone. Like no one wanna be your friends. Until one day, I saw you are sitting near the fountain and eating your mother’s cooking. At the first place, I actually wanna bullied you, but I don’t know it turned out to be your friend till now. Wait a second, I do bullied you right even we are already friends? Hahaha... I always love bullying you, Shorty!

Joshua & James; Both of you are little bastard twins. Till now, I can’t tell which one are you. I will easily get confused. One thing that I am sure enough is, Joshua stop dredging your nose in public. Even no one is noticed. But I have an eye on you. Hahaha... James, I am really sorry for you. I told you that man is not your man. I knew him well since my secondary school. He just picked you up because of me. If I was there, I will punch that punk straight into the baby face. Erghhh...

George; If you ever like possibly run into this blog, I wanna tell you something. You are my bitter-sweet-sugar-honey enemy yet my crush. I can’t tell you. You are in love with my very best friend ever. And I know you not into this kind of cruel world. I always wanna pick a fight with you when you are around me. I like watching you mad. I like watching you super-duper out of control. I just love to do that to you. You always say you hate me. But I am totally 200% sure you didn’t mean that. I noticed you stared at me when I am not looking. And I knew, you are the one that do the ‘hate you!’ in my sketch book right?

Hate You! | My Sketch | Autumn 2011

I will be in UK sooner or later guys. I have to renew my passport nevertheless. I am looking forward of that day. *I am counting the days.

"Craving for Blueberry Pancakes. Butter on top of it. Dipping in sweet-red-violet strawberry sauce..." 

_EimanHazdy_

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